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A Lover's Obligation

Asiyami Gold

Words by Joekenneth Museau


I believe a man reaches a peak in his maturity when he's brave enough to love one woman. I say that, being fully aware of the physical nature of the male species. Men are enamored with the anatomical make-up of women, their personalities, how they make them feel and their companionship in times of loneliness and distress. But conflict arises when a man doesn't take the necessary steps to maintain his initial attraction towards a woman who at one point captured his intrigue. It's as if attention deficit is heightened by the variety of eligible bachelorettes walking upon the earth. So much so that the girl you were feeling last week isn't as beautiful, engaging nor intelligent than ms. present, right now, walking pass me. And even if she is, the thought of her is non-existent because of the theory of "out of sight, out of mind."


I'm no different. I wrote an entire book about my trespasses in previous relationships before pledging to give all my love to my fiancé, Sara. Interestingly enough, there's a poem in my book, Tales of a Troubled Romantic, entitled "July" that chronicles our relationship up until early 2013. I ended the piece saying, "no one knows the future of forever." The line highlighted my ambivalence at the time; as I simultaneously loved Sara and someone else. It seemed like I was in a labyrinth of the heart so to speak. At the tender age of 24 years old, I can't say that I'm qualified to give relationship advice but I know how I was able to reach my conclusion to practice the verb "love."


I met Sara in 2010, at some random restaurant in Manhattan having dinner with mutual friends. We didn't exchange numbers that night but later formed a friendship. 'Till this day, I'm thankful that we started off as friends first. We had a heap of similarities! We're of the same faith, cultural background and we both entertained interests in poetry and music. And I can't forget to mention that we were born in the same year and month. Only two days apart. Weird right?

Sara and I, had a stint of a relationship but I wasn't focused on dating anyone when I was interested in other women---plural---at the time. I didn't understand how invaluable she would become to me until my mother passed away in 2012.


Although we had in break in communication for a few months, Sara still remained a friend of mine and my family. My mother swore up and down, that Sara was the one for me. After my mother's death, I didn't want to rush into a relationship out of desperation and grief. And yet, I still desired that attention from the opposite sex. I later realized that my behavior was selfish in nature. Men rarely understand the magnitude of their actions when it comes to their dealings with women; who generally develop an emotional attachment more quickly than they do. I was hurting my exes and Sara when I continually made petty excuses like, "I'm not ready," "There's better guys out there other than me," "I still have to get myself together." Man, love doesn't grow from cowardice and 40 year-old bachelors aren't as happy as they pretend to be.


When Sara and I officially began dating, I had to challenge myself to be a boyfriend. To honor exclusivity and be self-sacrificing. There was a break-up. I made mistakes. And I wondered about life and what keeps married people together. Aside from a personal resolve, there has to be an appreciation for the One responsible for couples, families and overall togetherness. When I focused more on my relationship with God, my own imperfections and Sara's positive qualities, I began to feel and understand the sense of duty that's embedded in love's DNA. It's not always romantic. It must also be principled and respectful. I had to develop respect for myself by treating women like my sisters and the daughters of mothers.



My friend and author, Jaime-Lee Lewis, once wrote about remembering the "service of love." The statement struck me then and continues to be relevant to me now. Lewis' words call to mind a proverb of Jesus Christ; wherein he said that "there's more happiness in giving than there is in receiving." Jesus wasn't speaking solely about giving in a material way. I believe he was referring to any service performed for one's fellowman, whether it be a stranger or a neighbor. How much more should we, as individuals, as men, as lovers in a relationship be cognizant of opportunities to give our time, energy and thoughts toward our significant other. I've made a spiritual investment in promising to marry Sara. One that encompasses my entire being. Just like a businessman making a monetary investment, it is my desire to see my "love stock" grow for years to come. Although we will encounter ups and downs along the way, it is my pledge to never sell my share. She is a priceless love to be maintained at great cost.


 Follow The Couple's Journey HERE

Written By

Author. Writer. Artist.

Audacity to Impact by Lindsay Adams

Asiyami Gold

Message: I know that people start blogs for many different reasons, hoping for different outcomes. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to gain from blogging, I knew it was a great outlet from my everyday routine, and I knew I wanted to share my artwork with the world, which is truly one of Gods greatest gifts to me. As I look back over the past 9 months, I am filled with so much gratitude, from the support, and feedback I’ve received. Although blogging takes time, and I sort of get behind, it is really something I enjoy. I’ve been writing for most of my life, but this is different! There are no guidelines, no rubrics, and no prompts!I was thinking of doing a list of 6 things I’ve learned from blogging, or highlighting my 6 favorite outfits, but then I decided to dig a little deeper for this milestone…and I’m going to share a bit more about me, and my story.


From a very early age, I knew that I was a creative. Although ‘creative’ is an adjective according to Merriam Webster, I see it as a noun. I define ‘creative’ as ‘a calling and fulfillment. A person who has the ability to enhance and strengthen visually.’ Creativity is such a natural urge. No matter the different paths one tries, the different subjects one studies, the desire to create is always at the center, no matter the field.My appreciation for art started at the beginning of my life. I was born with mild cerebral palsy, and had many physical challenges. I was 2 months early, weighing 2 lbs 12 ounces. I’ve been a fighter, ever sense. Every odd was set against me…I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t speak, and I couldn’t do much on my own without help. The doctors set a timeline for my life, told my mother, Id never be ‘normal’ and that she should pretty much prepare for the worst. Let me be clear, my mother and I do not like being told what to do…so of course, she being the dynamic woman she is, raised me to live not by the limitations that people have set for me, but by the limitless possibilities that God has set up for me.


Despite having to go through speech, physical, and occupational therapy, I always found my grounding in art. There were many days where I felt misunderstood and alone, because no one around me experienced the same challenges as I. I found a way to communicate through my art, filling countless sketchbooks with images that came to my mind. As I aged, I matured both emotionally, as did my illustrations, as well as my fashion! My art became more detailed, I experimented with color and dimension. In a sense, my experimentation and growth with art, is a lot like my experimentation and growth with life. Being born with special needs put me in a category of ‘different,’ seemingly by myself. I didn’t know anyone who was ‘different’ in the way I was, and everyone around me seemed ‘normal’…mind you, I use these words loosely, because everyone is ‘different’ and no one is ‘normal.’ I was always very frustrated, I wasn’t sure why this was my path…I wasn’t sure why I had all these challenges that other people didn’t, and I got angry. That anger, turned into drive, that drive created resilience…and there was nothing that anyone was going to tell me I couldn’t do! As I got older, I became more ‘normal,’ trying to ignore my differences and fit in as much as possible. I don’t mean fit in as doing what the ‘in crowd did’…I mean, I overachieved and excelled so that people would forget that I was ‘different.’ …Let me just tell you, that didn’t work out too well…Lindsay is Lindsay, and there’s no way around that!


Through my different struggles, different relationships, the good and the bad…I began a journey of trying to figure out who I was, embracing my differences, being proud of my story. The older I got, my skin got thicker, and I became more confident in who I was and what I brought to the table. Because my story is so unique, I began to take pride in my struggles, embracing my trials, and trying to figure out how I could use this life that wasn’t promised to me…to help someone else, as many people as possible!Through my art, and through this blog…I hope to share my gifts with the world…offering encouragement and understanding to those who may feel ‘different,’ like they don’t fit in. I went from not having full motor control, and not speaking, to getting 2 degrees and being fluent in Spanish! No matter what cards you are dealt in life…any and everything is possible, with faith, hard work, and determination. I know that things get tough, and I know that things get confusing…but no one has it all figured out. I only touched on a very small part of my story…but I hope it was enough to help someone and reassure that there are no limits to what you can do.


Look at yourself in the mirror, remind yourself who you are and whose you are…and start changing the world! Be a creative, an artist, a curator, and write your own story! You are not defined by your past, you are not defined by your shortcomings. Take a minute, look at your growth, remain grateful, keep fighting!


Written by Lindsay Adams